Our community’s most marginalized deserve a unified nation

As Indian trauma-focused therapists with a social justice bent, I deeply believe that one of our most important roles is to continue to support our most traumatized clients as they heal from the shadows of their heritage. We have a responsibility as systemic-focused healers to advocate for more opportunities and empowerment across the board for a less fragmented, more unified nation, which is still very young and healing from the most basic survival trauma of rising from abject poverty and malnourishment.

As a social-justice focused therapist, I believe the most educated must reach the least privileged. I enjoy working with sociopolitical ideologies of all sorts, even if I don’t agree with them and work across the board with people and organizations of all political leanings who ask me to come in and do a workshop on trauma work and the Indian mind (from “far-right”, “centre” to “radical left” to put in western terms). There are anti-caste leanings in a majority of these spaces and it is not even an argument anymore to even suggest that someone believes they *should* be allowed to discriminate someone on the basis of their caste. It is known that caste-based discrimination is a regressive Hindu problem (shadow) that has been loudly declared as wrong for years together, which is why the majority of this community, across caste lines has been wanting access to education, money, power and more on equal grounds.

Nothing is more immature currently than Indian leftist politics, its understanding of what is happening in the Hindu majority’s grassroots mind and the speed at which it is losing its membership because of its absolute idiocy. It is worrying to say the least as someone who advocates for values on all ends of the spectrum.

Where the American Left and the Indian Left differ, is that atleast the former wants its own nation to progress through inclusive change of some sort. The Indian Left however is increasingly seeming completely uninterested in any form of national integration/growth, even at a college-ideas level and when asked for solutions, their options are more theorizing, vague accusations around the same flat idea of “power” and cancelling of even more parts of their own selves with little interest in any nuance. Cutting off your ability to even want to understand religion in a religious nation is just plain nonsense, and people are going to continue to run away from you.

Thank you, Kushal Mehra for naming these themes in simple, blunt language.

#indianpolitics#mentalhealthmatters#godeeper #nationalintegration #bharat #diversityisourstrength

Meeting your needs is the least selfish thing

Why are you so scared of prioritizing yourself? Why am I so intimidated about putting myself first? Why do we shame self-pleasure, self-love and self-advocacy as a society as if it the opposite of being in relationship? Isn’t it the most selfish thing, to enter relationships with hungry, desperate, unmet needs which are so focused on what YOU can give ME? Love me, kiss me, make me feel good, tell me I’m amazing, help me heal my trauma, make me feel less alone, me, me, me, me. We all do this to each other, in one way or the other, and wait for someone to come along to make ourselves feel whole again because we think only someone else can make us feel pleasure. And we mask this self-directedness with words like care, concern, friendship and “love”. We normalize sucking the life out of each other.
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However, it’s so rare for us to say to our own beautiful, chaotic, desperate and needy selves:
Yes, I’ll love you even when everyone pushes against you.
Yes, I’ll pleasure you well and discover what makes you tick instead of waiting for a person to bless me with time/attention.
Yes, I’ll make you feel whole because you deserve it, for you are worthy of it as you are. Giving yourself pleasure, respect and compassion are not some award-winning instagram-documenting worthy acts. They are everyday acts of strengthening your friendship with your OWN self.
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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Healing from assault is a process of rediscovering the self. Having good, pleasureable sex is also a process of self-discovery. There’s no one who will show up at your doorstep to rescue you from your pain. A healthy relationship will support you as you evolve in your own friendship with yourself. Cheers.